Sentence meme

You finish the first part of the sentence in red with your own unique response. I stole it from Hammer.

1. My uncle once caught me being fairly unsafe at the lake with his kid.

2. Never in my life have I been to another continent.

3. When I was five I had taught myself to read, I'm told.

4. High school was worthless, but I miss football and wrestling.

5. I will never forget to lock my doors.

6. Once I met a fairly famous musician who was a decent guy (John Nolan).

7. There’s this boy I know who is a bit more than I can put up with.

8. Once, at a bar, I won a mechanical bull-riding contest and apparently earned a stalker in addition to my free drink.

9. By noon, I often feel like I could use a drink if I'm going to continue dealing with people.

10. Last night I was at my parents' house, kept awake by the pets.

11. If only I had a better job, I might stop my recent tooth-grinding.

12. Next time I go to church, I'll realize why it's been so long.

13. What worries me most is the theft of individual rights.

14. When I turn my head left I see a wall.

15. When I turn my head right I see the television.

16. You know I’m lying when I say, "I enjoy my job."

17. What I miss most about the Eighties is the cartoons. Yeah, so I'm a youngster.

18. If I were a character in Shakespeare it would be some minor role. Shakespearean ways are not my ways.

19. By this time next year I damn well better be making more money.

20. A better name for me would be David, I guess. A lot of people seem to mistake me for one.

21. I have a hard time understanding why people are so stupid and dependent.

22. If I ever go back to school, I'll get at least enough education to teach at the college level, I think.

23. You know I like you if you aren't stupid.

24. If I ever won an award, the first person I would thank would be the person who helped me the most toward earning said award.

25. Take my advice, don't take a break in the middle of your education.