Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Mechanical Bull Stalker

Per Hammer's suggestion, I figure I'd better tell the mechanical bull stalker story in its entirety.

For a period of time, I was a regular at a bar that had a mechanical bull a couple nights a week. The drinks were priced fairly and the bar staff learned who I was and my drinks: Long Island, Killer Kool-Aid, Absolut double screwdriver, and then we go from there. But this isn't really overly relevant.

The bar had ladies night every Friday, which included the bull, a DJ, and free cover for the ladies. Well, I started realizing that some of the girls liked to root for me when I rode the bull, and it made for a decent conversation start. (For those who might not have guessed, I'm not really all that good with the ladies, so I need all the help I can get.) After enough alcohol, it didn't even hurt all that badly. (Yeah, I's not a real bull by any means, but the guy running the thing can really make that thing go if he wants to, and it can hurt.)

Well, one Friday, the DJ held a bull-riding contest. Everyone who wanted to participate gave the DJ their names, and the bull was to be turned to full speed immediately. The goal, of course, was eight seconds, but no one was expected to meet that lofty goal in this bar.

Considering the DJ knew me and he normally played hip-hop, I asked him to play something country for my ride. Of course, he made a big announcement about how he was playing it per my request and that I was the regular bullrider in the bunch. This, of course, increased expectations.

I lasted about two seconds, which was disappointing, but still longer than anyone else. The DJ declared me the winner and I won a free drink. Now, I was probably a little beyond the point that I needed another drink, but I'm not gonna pass up another double screwdriver. I'm up at the bar getting said drink, when a girl who's starting to look a little attractive walks up to order. While I still had enough of my wits about me to know that she wasn't fantastic when she walked in, so I didn't really flirt or anything. I just warned her not to impale her hand on the receipt nail, which she found really amusing.

Well, I continued to hang out for awhile, but decide that I'd better go before it gets too close to closing time. The hand-impale girl and her friends happened to leave at the same time, and I heard her yell, "Good night, Drew!" Thrown off-guard, I responded "Well, I guess I'm at a disadvantage, since you know my name, and I don't know yours." She introduced herself as Brenda, mentioned that she got my name from the bullriding and told me that she'd probably be back and asked if I would be. Since it was obvious I was a regular, I didn't deny it.

I figured that I might see her there again, but I wasn't overly worried. Well, one day I hopped onto MySpace and had a new friend request. From Brenda. She had learned my FIRST name from the bullriding contest, gone onto MySpace, and looked for people based on the bar. Considering I think I was in a different zip code than the bar, I've wondered quite a bit how large a geographic area she had checked.

More disturbing, though, might've been the fact that she had no friends on MySpace. It appeared that she had made the account just to find me...

Now, I had been forcibly acquainted with internet stalking before, so you'd think I would've learned not to have too much info on MySpace. She found my AOL Instant Messenger screenname, though, and managed to be on whenever I was. Now, I try not to be too blunt sometimes, so I would talk to her, but avoid going to her place or meeting her anywhere.

One day, she told me that she'd been divorced and asked whether that would be a problem. Well, I tried to explain to her that I had no problem with anything she'd done, since it did not affect me at all. I tried to explain that we were not, in fact, starting any sort of relationship, but she was having none of that. Finally, I started avoiding her.

Before I started ignoring her, her MySpace had gained a friend or two. They disappeared. THen most of the pictures. Then the profile. And I never heard from her again.

I believe that she was my final internet stalker, and that's been alright. But I don't think I changed my habits online.

Yep. I don't learn and I attract the strangest sorts of people.


Hammer said...

That is a stalker alright. Glad you were wise enough not to meet her or it would have turned really ugly.

Brigid said...

Yes, they exist. I had a fellow work with me in another state, and during a long stint where we were stuck in a car for hours we traded dating horror stories.

He had taken this one lady out, one time. She was on the city council, well dressed, pretty and articulate. But he didn't think there would be a second date, they had little in common to talk about. He explained that to her nicely. She started calling him daily begging for another chance. Then other people started calling him about it. But the telephone number was hers. The people were female, but different voices than hers. Than a man called. Same number, and the voice vaguely familiar. Yes. . . she had multiple personalities and all started to stalk him. Two hit on him, and two threatened to kill him.

A call to the city finally stopped it. She was still on the City Council back there last I heard.

Drew said...

Wow. I've never had an experience anywhere near the multiple personalities one.
That'd be pretty thoroughly unnerving.